raw mom

Looking through old family photos should be a no-no when you are pms-ing. For reals! As I was searching through the 24,000 photos on my phone this morning (yes thats right...I have much too many), my heart began to ache. Oh my darling little ones. Why did you have to grow up?

I have loved being a mother. Even on the rough days. Except for during the potty training days. Thats when I loved being a mother but also wished we were animals that lived outside. ;) But those don't last too long. I have loved watching each of my children grow and learn and become such cool humans! Every chapter, every paragraph has taught me something about this glorious life (and super unglamorous sometimes) that I wouldn't have learned without them. No college degree, no profession could teach me the things I learned.

The goal has always been to raise my children to one day be capable adults. So here I am. With amazing growing children. One about to become an adult. We have almost made it! And I sit this morning with heartache, missing my little ones. Missing the simpleness of our lives. Missing their tiny chunky hands and arms wrapped around me. Missing their wide eyes listening to my voice as I sing them to sleep. Missing the cuddles. Them climbing on my lap so I can rock them in my chair, while I dream of what you will become. Ooooh darlings. I sure loved those days. and I miss them.

So, how on earth can I get through this day without crying about it?! Well, nowadays, those little bright eyes have become bigger bright eyes, waiting to tell ME all about their days. Those simple days are FILLED with chatter about boys and things they are learning. We are busy running around watching them grow and become those beautiful humans I dreamed about. I am their assistant in this life. Guiding them, teaching them and listening to them. And they might not be as little as they once were, but they still snuggle next to mama and let me rock them and sing with them and embrace the glorious humans they are.  So THAT is what I will remember when I ache for those times. I will stay right in the moment knowing that this life is a gift! Each moment of it! And one day I will long for the days I am in right now.

xo-teresa