a parents report card...

Oh man. Have you ever thought about this? I mean, maybe looking at parenting in a different way than we usually do? Like what if we were graded? What if we had an instructor or teacher grading us on they way we are parenting. What would be our report card? What would our marks say about us? Don't we truly ALL feel like we are messing up in SOME way or another? And just when we think we are about to Ace a test we bomb it? Even after we have studied and worked hard and paid attention to the important things?

Well, through the years I have received some report cards and progress reports of my own. A screaming child in line at the grocery store. A daughter running to the kitchen with a hand print on her back from another daughter hitting her. A messy house. My own messy hair..because we all now a messy hair day must mean we don't have all our ducks in a row right? ;) (hahaha) What about a daughter who has comforted a hurt friend, or a daughter who shared her snacks or a daughter who told the truth. Sometimes I receive a child with a Honor roll certificate or a great piano recital or a child with a trophy from her dance completion! Those are the GOOD report cards!

 Thankfully, when I get the not so great progress reports I have been taught to LOOK at my mistakes and keep trying for that A at the end of the term. Sometimes I DO get that A. Sometimes I work SO hard and my marks are less than I expect. Sometimes I mess up royally and have to re take the entire course. Like today, when I got upset at one daughter for spilling her cereal bowl in the car today. Yeah. I'll re read that chapter. I have passed that test before!! I really have! But, this morning was different. Different emotions and thoughts in my mind and different needs for the day resulted in a different reaction than when I took the test last week :/

And I think thats what makes us feel like we've failed. Because we KNOW what we are capable of. We know we have done better. We know the kind of parent we want to be and the kind of parent we ARE. So when we don't do things just the way we hope we always do, we feel like we are a wreck. We feel like our kids won't ever forgive us. We feel like we have taken 8 steps back. Thats exactly how I felt today. Like I had been such an amazing mama and then boom. Over spilled cereal.

I have to talk myself down to earth.  I have to tell myself and my kids that I AM a great mom. I have to tell them hey listen! I make mistakes, too! Sometimes I need to be I sorry for my actions and I have to try harder. We all do. And I guess that in its self should make me feel like I didn't fail. Because now I get to teach them to forgive others and ALSO forgive themselves, right?  UUUUUUGH. Being a parent is ROUGH! Best job ever and would never trade it, but when you really care you notice how tough it really is.

I know I am trying my hardest everyday to take care of my children and help them learn and grow. I know I am doing my best to keep them happy. But I also know that a happy well taught and well rounded child doesn't mean the child is always smiling and laughing and running around with balloons in their hands. Sometimes a child will be let down or grounded or disciplined for their behavior. But in the long run that child is the happiest...right?

So, this morning I might have failed. But maybe I can retake the test. Maybe when they come home and I teach them to clean the car seats properly after a mess, and teach them to forgive when I apologize  and then show them we can move on...maybe they will learn a great lesson. And then maybe I'll get that A. Or a B. I'm okay with B today, too ;)

top ten reasons I love being a mom..

1. Smooches.

Lets start off this list with this because, dude. You all know the daily amount of smooches we get from our babes is pretty much the main thing that keeps us going on this roller coaster! Who does't melt when their child plants on them?! 

2. Newborn snuggles.
Going right along with number 1, snuggles...from your newborn. Oh the delicious smell of a fresh new baby, bathed and lathered in baby magic lotion. Holding your child close to your chest and feeling their warm skin. (my uterus is screaming right now) It's. Magic.

3. Birthdays.
Oh dear me. How I love a birthday!! I love birthdays for my children, I love birthdays for you, I love birthdays for me, I  love birthdays for everyone!! I LOVE celebrate each one of my children lives! We re-tell each girls birthday story on their birthday so they can remember how important that day is. I love the individual celebration if each girl. The wonderful things they bring to our family and to the Earth. Oh and please don't forget how delicious birthday cake is! Yeah. Birthday cake should have its own number on this list ;)

4. An excuse to leave any terrible situation.
Oh me oh my. There have been PLENTY of times when I find myself in situation I wish I could run from. Plenty. And the, "I gotta go, she needs to lay down," or "Ew. She smells stinky. I better go change her," or the "I need to get my little one from school right quick," excuse has helped ...a lot.

5. Holidays.

These can be UBER expensive having children BUT the price we pay is ALWAYS worth the adorable dresseded up scarecrow or cowboy or bunny rabbit on Halloween. And the wish lists go on and on but on Christmas morning those glittery eyes that are surprised with all the Christmas wishes and dreams  make us do it again...year after year. And the yummy valentine candies we buy for them...and grab an extra for us...worth it. And teaching our babes why we celebrate The 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King Jr. day make Holidays one of THE greatest things about being a parent.

6. Acceptance.
If you have never felt accepted before, taken for exactly who you are, you are in for a huge surprise when you hold a new baby. They don't care about ANYTHING except love. Aaaaand a few gallons of milk. And some sleep, too. They don't care about what you did, what you say, how you think or what you wear. They're just hoping for a little love and prooobably praying that you won't drop them...which takes me to number 7...

Trust. These humans trust us adults with everything they have. They trust what we say. They trust what we feed them. They trust us while we drive, they trust us with their clothing. They trust that we are not feeding them poison and sending them to school in a swimsuit in the middle of winter. They get in a car, buckle up and look out the windows dreaming of the places they'll go, what a cow says and what their next meal will be. They just TRUST us. And that trust brings a GREAT feeling for us.  A reward that can't be bought...only earned.

8. Purpose.
Somedays I want to sleep in until 9 am. Lie. I'm lying. EVERY day I want to sleep in until 9 am.  I just LOVE my bed, okay?! ;)
And on the rough days when I have gone through a death, a loss, or the very most stressful day, I just want to curl in a ball and sulk. But, I have little ones that need me. So, I get out of my slump. I get dressed (kinda), put on a bra, brush my teeth and move through. These babies give purpose to push through the rough times. They bring smiles and sunshine. They bring other things to the table, too, like fighting and sassing etc but this is a POSITIVE post today...so wrapping those little arms around their mamas/daddys  neck on an off day really does make things better.

9.Future grand babies
EVERY grandparent I have talked to says being a grandparent is ALMOST better than being a parent! For many reasons but a few are because hello! you get to have those newborn snuggles you have missed so much over the years!! You get the love and adoration and trust ALL over agin!! BUT without the stress of making sure they are perfectly dressed and fed and off to school and church and friends houses everyday! You don't have to wake up through the night to change them and feed them!! You don't have to buy the necessary feminine hygiene products for them and you DONT have to deal both the sass and frustrations of PUBERTY!! Wooohooo! I plan to be an attentive hands on grandparent, an extension of a parent to my grand children, so long as my daughters want that. So, I will be helping encourage the standards and beliefs my children teach their children. BUT, I won't have the major stress and worry that their own parents will have. If I raise my children well and if they choose, they will hopefully take lessons learned in their home growing up and my husband and I can't trust THEM to raise their children well. MAN! I'm excited for grand babies!


And number 10.

10. Love.
The perfect, honest, pure, unconditional love a child brings to your life, is the number one reason I will NEVER regret being a parent and ALWAYS be grateful for. There is NO love like the love given to you from your own special child that you watch grow everyday. That you teach. That you pour your heart and soul into. That you sacrifice for. That you worry about and think about throughout each day. Sharing your life and making memories and watching little humans grow gives such a sense of pride and happiness. The dance recitals, trips to the beach, vacations in the mountains and days spent at Disneyland are all part of this wonderful journey as a parent. We do these things because of love. The love we GIVE and the love received. Love is the reason, folks. Love will always be the reason and love will always be the answer.

the sayings of a mama...

Between my mama and myself I have collected quite a few "sayings" I use with raising my children. Wanna know what they are...okay, sure!

I love you for goodie.
You're my favorite (insert childs name here) in the whole world.
Go the extra mile.
Do unto others.
Beautiful in your heart is the best kind of beautiful.
Kindness begins with...me.
Remember who you are.
Stick together.
Sharing is caring.
Be your own kind of beautiful.

The lazy man works twice.
Birds of a feather flock together.
I am raising capable adults.
Go look it up.
There is always something to be done.

Let me know what your fave is!

 xoxox

joking with diabetes...

Okay we all know it...Type 1 Diabetes is rough. Its terrible. It stinks. Poking fingers and counting carbs and drinking sugar late at nights is AWFUL! It's a SERIOUS thing. But the other part of that reality is that there are MANY people who deal with this daily. And if we sit in a puddle of seriousness and fear and pity, we will waste so much precious time. Attitude is EVERYTHING, right? Well, to our family it IS. We KNOW what diabetes means. But we also KNOW what it REALLY is like living with it. Times two. With TWO of our children diabetic we have had to find the positive in this.
So, last night my daughters and I laughed and laughed at some of the funny things that come with diabetes...because guess what? There ARE funny things...like this one...

 And this...because its TRUE!

 I can't tell you how many times our girls have dealt with this!

 

And the BIGGEST misconception of them all...

raising capable adults...

oh man. When my oldest daughter {S} was born I vowed to be the best mom I could be. So it was no surprise that when she started school I planned to make a hot meal for her at least three times a week and pack a lunch filled with healthy foods (fruit, nuts, cheese, sandwich, snack) and love. ;) I took pride knowing that my daughter knew how much I cared about her because it was obvious, right?! A packed lunch says I love you in a  way nothing else can, right?! I TRULY thought this was the way. Preeeeetty much the only way to be the best mom I could be. Her hair was smooth and braided and hairsprayed. Her clothes were neat and tidy and smelled of the good stuff. Well manicured nails, back pack straps the perfect fit and a hug and smooch goodbye. Ahhhh. All was well.

By my third baby things were changing. Hair was still perfect (pah-lease). Clothes were still tidy. Shoes, homework, breakfast. But I was struggling. I wanted to do all the things I thought were the best, but sometimes I just COULDN'T do it all. I had to learn time management again. I had to prioritize. So sometimes breakfast was cereal (heaven forbid).

When I heard my best friend talk about what her children were "packing in their lunches" my heart sank. WHAT?! "But you are the best mom I know," I thought. "You don't pack your kids lunches?? You let THEM pack their OWN lunch box??" My world was rocked. ;) I watched as these little children got dressed and packed their lunches and hopped on their bikes to...get this...ride their bikes to school...themselves!!! (gasp) I mean the block and a half distance was SURE to ruin them!

I'm NOT kidding. I didn't make a scene as I watched this, I didn't even say anything. And most times that cute mama would walk with them to school with a stroller full of baby. THAT I loved! I thought that was precious! But watching this mom, who might I add was MUCH more experienced than I was (she has 9 years of parenting on me)  taught me a LOT. She taught me more than I might have ever expressed to her. She was the big sister I never had. Watching her I could hear my moms words in my head, "I am raising capable adults." My mom said these words ALL the time when I was growing up. When she pulled me put of bed (literally) around midnight to sweep the floor "the right way" or when she made me clean my entire room alone and my sister didn't have to do a bit or when she wouldn't tell me the answer to the questions I had (in which I heard "go look it up"....a LOT in my life) my mom was raising me to be a capable adult.

I never talked back growing up. But if I ever gave a look or body language that asked why on earth she was doing this to me, she would say, "I am raising capable adults." Oooooh  I grew to LOATHE when she said that. Because come on! She was exactly right but come on!! I just wanted to stay in bed!! Couldn't you just let me do it in the morning?? Nope. Because guess how many times my mom pulled me out of bed? Once. I never wanted that again....so I swept the floor right. Or maybe she just found another way to punish me...IDK. ;)But really. She made the point. It stuck. And THAT is what we as parents are here to do.

Over the past years my daughters have grown. My job as a mom has become so much more than just a cuddle and a smile and food on the table. I have been TEACHING these humans how to LIVE. How to do the things we need to do one day on our own. So, they all know how to make a lunch for themselves. Sometimes they prefer it. Honestly there have been days when I feel like I have failed them because I didn't make their lunch. Other days I'm just so grateful they CAN. Although I still have two younger children, my parenting methods have changed to adapt to my older daughters chapters. They want to grow. They want to learn. And they NEED to!

So, while learning to adjust to my children growing up, I thought okay. I can let my kids make their own lunches. I will set the standard of what goes into the lunch and they can choose what they want. As long as they each put a FRUIT, some NUTS, CHEESE, a SANDWICH and a SNACK I would learn to let go a little. Fruit can be vegetable...dried, fresh or canned. Cheese can be string cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt/gogurt, laughing cow cheese, even a few slices of their fave sandwich cheese is fine. A sandwich can be anything from an actual sandwich or last nights left overs. This has been the saving grace for YEARS. They know what goes in to a lunch and they do it! They love it! And when they take care of each others lunches...my heart melts. Watching my oldest pack EVERY lunch last night for her and her sisters was a HUGE payday. Going the extra mile was something I learned as a girl scout and I have taught my girls. Sometimes they do it. Sometimes they don't. Last night, she did.

And tonight, when I heard my precious six year old start packing her lunch like her big sister did a few minutes before...I thought I was going to break. My heart hurt. She shouldn't have to do that, I thought for a few moments. But when I snuck around the corner (creep) I saw her washing an apple fro herself, dry it (on her shirt) get a plate out and the apple cutter. She tried to cut it on the counter, but then said to herself out loud, "I'll do it down here so I can reach." I watched her brace herself. I saw her balance her hands with the apple and the cutter. Then I saw her gleam with pride as she cut. It shifted as she pushed down so the pieces were misshapen. I went to her to help her. I told her I was so proud of her. She took each piece out and placed them in a baggie. She was SO proud of herself. And so was I. It took me sometime, but I think I can be okay with it. I might have  a six year old that makes her own lunch, and you might think like I once did...thats abusive! (hahaha)But hey guess what? I am raising capable adults.  One day they will not only be able to make their own lunch, but they will be confident, serving, giving capable adults. And THAT was the goal all along.

the awful truth about parenting...

They grow up. I mean it. Its the worst. Its the truth that we all know and the truth we will all face. But  there have defiantly been times when I think it will never come. Somedays we have this thought in back of our minds that as we are living in the roughest worst times a human being can ever be subjected to, it won't ever end! Our homes will always be a mess ( this is true..and I don't like it), we won't EVER get a good night sleep, and can't we just make ONE meal that everyone likes! Sheesh! 

 The fighting NEVER ends! The homework keeps adding up. The chores arent done correctly, the car is always a wreck, won't ANYONE ever empty the dish washer without being asked? The laundry will NEVER...really it just won't EVER stop piling up. Who wears tis stuff anyway?! Seriously didn't you just try this on and now its in the hamper?! The shower will always be an area of fussing, someone will always need their hair redone and my gas tan will never be filled for more than a day. 

Its the worst!! Did I really sign up for this? Permanent taxi driver...thats me! Expert birthday present getter for the past...HI! i'm right here! Diorama and science project professional ...its in my resume. 

This is the time of my life where sometimes seeing the light at the and of the

 tunnel is NOT happening. 

But the flip side seems awful. 

I'm no expert on this flying the coop thing. I haven't experienced it at all yet. But as I watch my parents go through each of their six children leaving the nest, I can't help but think what it could be like for me. And when I DO think about it, I want to vomit. Because these girls are my whole life.  15 years ago my life became something greater. It actually MEANT something. These chidlren, one by one, changed me and have made me who I really am today. (yes, taxi driver is part of who I am..and I'm okay with that).  My life has revolved around them. My thoughts decisions and actions have been for them. So to imagine one by one they will LEAVE...AHHH! How is that possibly the best thing for anyone?!

               Its a truth I don't want to know.  It's a truth I am hesitant to meet. When the day comes I know I will put on brave face on and be excited while preparing each of them for a new chapter...and I will crumble the moment they take flight. I know I will be happy for them...they will be doing whats good and right. But my mommy heart will break. And my mommy heart will lean on and hold tight to the faith I have in them and the way I have tried to raise them.   All my days of thought and prayer and concern and energy given for these babes will be put to the test. The truth will be known. How did I REALLY do as a parent? Did I teach them enough? Did I love them enough? The truth is one day it won't be up to me anymore. One day the fruits of my labor will be shown.  And my beautiful chicks will become beautiful swans, gliding and floating and making their marks in the world.  

Its a day I am completely comfortable with taking its time to get here.

if only i could freeze time...

these precious little arms have already gotten bigger. 

I remember when I took this photo. 

Of course I do, it wasn't too long ago. 

We took a little bike ride to the park near our home. 

We had a picnic lunch packed. We did this knowing a storm was in store, so we 

took an umbrella with us. We sat on the cool grass. We watched the ants carry crumbs in a straight line. We munched a little. We chatted a lot. We played on the tire swing and I watched her climb the stairs to the big slide. I prayed she wouldn't get hurt. She smiled and laughed. 

It was kinda like a story book...or a movie. Because REALLY it was perfection. 

Its the kind of moments in life we all want but finding them sometimes takes more time than it should. I  didn't want this day to end. I snapped a photo knowing I wanted to remember this forever. And not just in my mind. 

 Then the rain came. We opened our umbrella and sat under it while the drops fell on us. IT WAS PERFECT. We enjoyed the quick shower. We let the water hit our feet.

 I wish we could go back to that minute. It really wasn't that long ago but my heart aches for it. The time goes by so quickly. As much as I LOVE watching my babies grow up and seeing the wonderful people they are becoming, it hurts to see these chubby hands get thin. Its difficult, truly difficult to not have my little ones cupped in my arms and swaddled by my chest this same way. Don't think I don't try! Because oh yes I do! I scoop my darlings up like babies more than I should admit ;) I can't help it. I LOVE them. All the crazy that comes with parenthood is peanuts compared to the joys of being with these little people. 

So while these little arms don't wrap around me like this anymore, its okay. 

It doesnt mean they don't wrap around me at all. 

xoxo

easiest chicken dinner...

thank you thank you Kimber over at thepinningmama.com for this AMAZING recipe! If you haven't seen this or tried this you MUST! Simple, tasty and gluten free!

I used 4 chicken breasts
Basil pesto
2 Roma tomatoes
1 cup shredded mozzarella


Lay your chicken breast in a glass pyrex like dish. Spread a few tablespoons of pesto on top. I baked this for 25 mins. Then I added sliced tomatoes on top and and sprinkled about a cup of mozzarella cheese on top. Then I cooked it for another 10 mins.

Seriously. If this isn't easy enough and SCRUMPTIOUS enough for you...I don't know what to tell ya! Happy Sunday!

the teenagers perspective...

Its funny, we think we know what our children think of us. We think we know how they feel. We might even think for one second that we are doing a good job! And then, after a fun night having one on one time with on of your teens, it happens...the truth comes out. In the most respectful manner possible, with "I'm sorry" and "I don't mean to offend you" the truth comes out.

I tried to keep my emotions to myself. I let her say what she wanted to say, I even asked her to elaborate, to make sure she gets her feelings out and her point across. REALLY. Tell me how you feel.

This teen in particular has a GREAT way with words. She is thoughtful in the words she chooses, and yet honest to the core. So, naturally, the words spilled out. Her observations were shared. My wants were to defend, but my instincts told me to wait. Let her say what she needs. Let her be heard, and above all else, learn from what she is saying.

Its funny, because the way I was raised was TOTALLY different. It didn't matter what I thought. I was a child. A teenager. My option didn't count. I was respectful. Obedient. Quiet when I was supposed to be quiet and I got consequences even if I didn't earn them. Because I wouldn't dare fight or talk back. But, I feel like this generation of parents are trying to raise children in a different way. Some of those ways I feel are absurd. (post another time) But other ways, that I am embracing, are great. I feel like listening to my children is a GREAT way to parent. I feel like there is a line between disrespectful children and honest children. I have worked HARD to build a relationship with my children based on respect and trust... on BOTH sides. Hopefully teaching by example that I am deserving of respect but they, too, are deserving of respect from their parents. I'm trying to teach them that we are the safe place for them to turn to. That as a family we need to stick together.

So, when my teenager comes to me with honest words about ME, I am not offended. I don't feel disrespected. I am not under attack by a naughty child or a rude teenager. I am letting my wonderful child let her feelings out. Letting her have a voice. Building a relationship. Communication is COMPLETELY different from argument. Letting my child communicate her thoughts and feelings might be rough for a bit because the truth SHE sees might not be the truth I see. Because teenagers don't see the "behind the scenes" of raising a family and being married and making choices EVERYDAY that effect more than just one person aaaaaand that most of the time HAVE to be made with another person. They don't see that. They don't see the ones I take for the team, the battles I choose to give to my husband or to my children. And they dont see the times he gives the battle to me. Or the things he does quietly while they sleep, or are at school, or doing the wonderful things they love to do. Sometimes its really important for them to see and know of those things we do...but sometimes they just get to go about their lives not knowing all the secrets to being a spouse and a parent. Those are things they will get to learn first hand.

So, when my daughter opens up and tells me things that she thinks about, things she sees, things that matter to her, things she doesnt understand, I won't worry. I will meet her opinions and thoughts with open arms...because guys, its just another chance of me to teach my daughter. Another chance I get to  bond with her, another way I get to build the relationship on trust and understanding. And hopefully, all the time spent and energy given, will lead these little humans down a path of success.

a big dose of mom guilt...

My child is sick...ugh. Its one of the WORST things a mom hears/says. For many reasons. First and foremost, its upsetting that out sweet children get sick. We don't want them to feel awful. We don't want them to be in pain. We want them healthy and playing and learning and smiling!

 But unfortunately, sickness comes about every child. And when it is one of my beauties turn, I turn into  different mom. I wish I was the kind of mom that was able to JUST sit and snuggle my sick one. I wish we could JUST watch television all day, read our favorite books, eat a warm cup of soup and take a nap.

BUT reality is different. At least for me. When my children get sick my first goal is to get the sick one better. My second goal is to make sure it doesnt spread. This turns me into my alter ego, Super Germ Killer! Once this mama changes into this uniform its all over. These germs don't stand a chance!

Typically when I have a sick babe, I got through at least one bottle of lysol spray, a tub of lysol wipes, a few ounces of hand sanitizer and TONS of hand soap. My laundry piles gets taller and my washer is running more. I bust out my Do Terra oils like a mad scientist/hocus pocus witch concocting mystical potions that wipe out illness in a flash!

When I have a sick babe it amazes me that my daily chores and duties STILL call my name...imagine that! The dishes still need to be done, toilets still need to be scrubbed. Things still spill, on the floor needing to be cleaned and the counters still get sticky. Breakfast, lunch and dinner still needs to be planned and prepared and served...and then cleaned up. Errands still need to be run, groceries still need to be bought, phone calls STILL need to be made. On top of the already existing list of to do's, having a sick babe usually means a new list. A doctor appointment, maybe a pharmacy run, a call to excuse them from school. If its a upset tummy sickness, I usually have throw up to clean and blankets to add to that laundry pile.

Sometimes when they are sick, I feel like a chicken running around with my head cut off! That and Cinderella combined! Mom I need a drink. Mommy can you get me a new blankie. Mom I feel hot. (run to get the thermometer and medicine.) Mommy can I have a snack. (Anything that isn't dairy, isn't sugar, doesnt have red 40 and too rough on their throats) A mama could go bananas!

Usually, when all the chores are squeezed into the day of sick, and all the meals are done, the other family members are taken care of and I can take  a deep breath, I can lay with the sick one and cuddle until they fall asleep in my arms. Just to do it all again the next day.

One day I might be that mom that does NOTHING but cuddles and snuggles with my sick babe. But with SO many other needs from me...and so many IMPORTANT things to run around doing FOR the sick one, I just feel lucky I can hold them AT ALL. It will always hurt my heart that I can't be the rocking chair mama...but at least my children get better fast, right? And MOST of then time, no one else in the family gets sick. Which is saying a LOT! Because a sick MAMA is NOT allowed ;)

you don't have to be a professional...

You guys. Theres have been SO many times when I think, "I'm going to get back into running!" Or maybe I'll think about yoga, or running the stadium steps. Take up a spin class at the gym! 

But something stops me. Maybe  family duties. Maybe I get lazy. Or maybe I want to spend my time visiting with a pal. Sometimes I find myself unmotivated to start because I think I'm not strong enough. I feel like if I go into spin class or the Zumba class I won't be able to keep up...and thats intimidating. It really is. 

Let me say this, I find peace and happiness in a couple things in the fitness world. Running and yoga. 

If I want to pick them back up again, I find myself doing these things ALONE. On my own. Sporadically. I have had a running buddy before. And I love my stadiums girls! And honestly, one day soon I hope to do that spin class. I know I will be that slower girl in the back. But until then, I take a bit of time for myself, by myself, doing whatever makes me feel good. Its not a workout with instructions. Its not written down. I don't have a trainer or a video or a clock. I just do my own thing. And feel good about it. I'm NO professional fitness gal. I don't lift weights. I don't know what each muscle is called. I don't know each pose in yoga...and half the time I'm pretty sure I'm not doing them right. But I get myself out and moving and stretching. I find happiness in knowing I'm not a professional...and thats okay. 

engaged in intentional parenting...

I watched the LDS General Conference this weekend and a few different things stuck out to me that I wanted to share and chat about.

Ask yourself, are you parenting with thought and reason? Do you THINK about the things you are about to say to your children before you say them? Do you try to understand the reasons your children do the things they do? Are you engaged in parenting your children...and do you do you have the best of intentions for THEM?

 This subject is probably one of my VERY favorites I listened to. Engaging in intentional parenting.  I take parenting pretty serious. Maybe too serious sometimes. When I was handed each of my children I knew I wanted to do my best. I wanted to be more than just in their lives. I wanted to be a source of security and safety for them. I wanted to give these beautiful angels EVERY chance possible to succeed in this life. In MY opinion, to succeed means SO many things. I want my children to be kind. To know who they are. To know where they come from. I want them to be smart. Have  great education. Thoughtful. Unselfish. I want them to find love and be loved and be loving. I want them to be strong and gentle. I want them to have manners and respect. If they had these things, I would think it was successful. Along with a few others things. 

 I knew it was mostly MY responsibility to help them learn these things. So began my intentional parenting. Most choices I made, I did intentionally.  I would need to be a good example to them. I would need to watch the things I do and say and the way I behave. If I want my children to be respectful...then I need to show them respect. I don't believe that just because I am their mother  I GET respect from them. I have to earn it. And I need to give it. If I didn't want my children to speak a certain way, then I couldn't either. If I wanted them to be amazing readers, I would need to encourage reading and read myself. You, get the point.

I want my children to KNOW who they are. That they belong somewhere. That they are part of something so large and important. That they, as an individual, are SO important. That they are never overlooked. I want them to have a relationship with God. I want them to know they are loved and cared for. I knew I would need to teach them and be the example. It would need to be an intentional decision to teach them daily about this.  I LOVE when my children walk in on me when I am praying. They see how important it is. And I love even more when I walk I on their prayer time. 

Not only do I find these things important but PLAYING with our babies is so important! So spending my extra time with them is HUGE! The are my most favorite people! Fishing and swimming and reading and saying and chalking drawing and shopping and traveling are all thins that help us get to know each other and make memories. But, spending that time with each other opens time for us to talk. To teach and share with each other the things that are important. 

I have said it a MILLION times, parenting four daughters is rough...because of the chat time! However, I have also said it is one of the greatest things about them, too. This chat time is when we talk about anything and everything. 

Being engaged in our children lives will bring us closer as a family. I truly feel that if parents engage in parenting EACH child they have, and EACH day, those children will grow to be confident, happy and secure. Which then leads to success. And if each parent engages in parenting, they will feel a sense of happiness and pride in themselves. I feel so much better about myself when I spend time with my children. When they have amount of attention they need, there is less reason for them to act out in negative ways.  I feel like it is THE BEST thing for everyone involved.

So, my goal this week is to make sure I am making the time with my darlings matter. I will make sure they know they are loved and important and have wonderful qualities about them. I want to play with them more...maybe I will bring out some boards games this week! And a new box of side walk chalk NEVER hurts! And if it rains, like the reports predict, maybe I will take advantage of that and dance and play in the rain with them! Because I only get one chance and I want to make it a great one!

How to win an argument ...

Why doesn't my husband understand this fully yet? I mean I THINK he does but there is something really teeny tiny in that mans brain that must tell him, "This one...try to win this one!" What? Like he royally thinks he can out smart out talk or out reason with me?? Oh honey lemme tell you. This girl has a LOT of things on her side that will help her win the argument. One. A vagina. I am a WOMAN. A life giver. A life sustainer. Thats it. thats all I need. I win.

But just in case you need more reasons, here ya go. Imma talker. It's my one and only talent. This talent of mine SCREAMs I'm gunna win. My ability to out word my husband is my armor. The ability to say 72,000 word per minute that makes SENSE is my sword. I got this.

Oh and hi my name is Teresa. I'm half Latina. I know its a stereotype and some silly's might actually be offended by this but hey...its truth. The stereo type came from somewhere. So you just stand aside.Watch the show if you desire. It's probably fun :) Actually, my husband says its one of his favorite things. He says he loves to get me mad. He actually says I'm prettier when I'm mad.  (hahaha)

Now after he has worn out and exhausted all his avenues,  (and trust me...he really tries! he play a mean silent treatment) he realizes there will always be one winner...the Queen Bee. He can get as mad as he wants. He will try his hardest sometimes. I have had moments when I think he is about to win, he is about to win. I can't find one last ounce of fight left in me. And then who come out of their corner with arms a blazing...reaching for a hug?

Thats right...he loves me. So maybe sometime...just SOMETIMES, he actually LET'S me win. ;) 

seasoning recipes...

I am a BIG healthy eating chick. yes i eat a LOT of sweet treats, too. The ingredients in the food I eat are for the MOST part researched by my incredible sister or myself. You are what you eat, right? Well, there are some things I just MISS so terribly that I want but refuse to buy. Like ranch dressing. The powder mix, mostly. And almost every other dressing flavor packets, for  that matter. They are so handy to put onto of meats and such for scrumptious dinners!  But, the amounts of MSG in those make me want to vomit, among other things. Top Ramen. Sloppy Joe mix. Mrs. Dash. These are all friends I can't invite into my house. So I have found my OWN ways of having these delicious flavors without the harmful imngredients! With help from things I have looked up online, I have mixed and mingled my scrumptious spices and seasonings to make delicious meals for my family! Creole seasoning,  mock mrs. dash, taco seasoning, and my newest italian dressing! I don't have to order online from fancy expensive places and have seasonings shipped to me...I can make them on my own :) and they are organic, too!

here are a few of my FAVORITES!

Italian Dressing

1 TBS of each 

Garlic powder, onion powder, white sugar, dried parsley, salt

1 tsp of each
black pepper, dried basil

2 TBS dried oregano
1/4 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp celery salt

mix in a  jar.

in a separate jar mix 1/4 cup white vinegar, 2/3 cup olive oil,
2TBS water and 2 TBS of your mix. shake it, shake shake it. shake it shake shake it. shake it shake shake it. shake it like a polaroid picture.

Taco Seasoning

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper, 1/2 tsp paprika, 1/4 tsp dreid oregano, 1 1/2 tsp cumin, 1 tsp sea salt, 1/4 tsp onion powder. 1 tsp black pepper 1/4 tsp garlic powder and 1 TBS chili powder.  i use this on so many things!! mix it with some sour cream even!

Mock Mrs. Dash

3tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp oregano
1 1/2 tsp savory (you don't have to use this)
1 tsp marjoram
1 1/2 tsp parsley
1 1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp thyme

Creole Seasoning
2 1/2 TBS paprika
2 TBS salt
2 TBS garlic powder
1 TBS black pepper
1 TBS onion powder
1 TBS cayenne pepper
1 TBS dried oregano
1 TBS dried thyme

store in a n air tight jar :)

long hair don't care...

Wait. Yes we do.

Listen, long hair is a big deal in my family. Long hair means beauty. It just does. I think other girls are GORGEOUS with shirt hair and sometimes I want my hair that way...but I know what I will think of ME if I do that...and it always comes back to what I was raised with.

I once ONCE cut my hair short...that cute A line cut. Yeah, I saw the disapproving look in my dads face the SECOND he saw me. Let me just say I even called him ahead of time and said I needed him to pretend like he loved it...because it was such a huge thing for me to do. Thankfully he didn't sell me to the circus, and thankfully it grew out.

Well, my daughters all have long hair, as well. Some is longer than others, and some so thicker than others. But it is ALL long.

As much as we LOOOOVE this, there are a few things that come with long hair that we would LOVE to never experience. The first is the after shower brushing. Guys, I could be a millionaire if I got paid for every time i brushed a head of hair. The tangles are enough to make my second daughter want to shave her head every other week. THEY ARE AWEFUL.
Product. We go through enormous amounts of conditioner, shampoo, hairspray, heat protectant etc etc. Time. The amount of time we spend...okay mostly time I spend, braiding curling pinning wrapping (upside down and backward) twisting straightening and smoothing is outrageous. And TOTALLY needed. Because hair that pretty isn't allowed to just BE. It must BE DONE.

But THIS is the very worst part. The clean up. So we shed a certain amount of hairs per day, right? Yes. These hairs usually end up on the back of a shirt that we tenderly pull off or in our car  but mostly on our carpet. And what do we do when our carpets are messy? WE vacuum them. All the dirt and dust and crumbs and hairs get slurped up. And a few weeks will go by and I notice this...

This is our vacuum that has been over taken by the amount of hair in our house! Hair is wrapped around the spinner so much that the brush bristles are barley showing! So, a handy pair of scissors and my daughter who was pretending to be a puppy at that time helped me cut that junk off! I have synths before but THIS time was the most ever. 

Do you think Locks of Love would take this donation ;)

serious amounts of  hair. I won't ruin your day by showing you the mess we pulled from our then clogging shower drains. (ew)

We have taught the girls that when shampooing their hair they came kinda pull the hairs gently out. They WANT to come out and probably already have, they just are waiting to drop. So when we rinse our hair we can grab them, and place them on the side of the shower until we get out and throw them in the garbage. Sometimes it happens. Mostly it doesn't. And the daddy (poor daddy) unclogs the drains for us. 

So um, yeah. We LOVE long hair...but it DEFIANTLY comes with a downside. ;)

dont forget about me...

My Friday thoughts last week were pretty intense. I was sure last week was going to take me prisoner. As I drove away from a morning of complete peace and MUCH needed quiet alone time for myself by myself completely, I wrote down things thoughts and feelings. 

I have so many emotions going through my heart and my mind and my soul I figured this would be the best time to part. When I am good and vulnerable. Where you can see my emotions and feeling raw. 

My soul has been hurting. My soul has been put on a shelf. I have been thoroughly exhausted. I have been taken from.I have given and given and given. It has been a very long week full of emotion that I am ready to pit behind me.I'm grateful for the lessons learned. And I feel like it was a productive week. And necessary to go through. But now that it is finished I am so grateful. I just need some time to breathe. To relax my soul and mind. To be me. Being mom is always number one, but sometimes i forget about myself, and that just is not acceptable. Because if I forget about myself then I really am no good to anyone. 

I'm usually so excited for Fridays because its date night  with my man and we get relaxing time and outings with our children! But this Friday I'm just glad the week is DONE. I don't want to ever relive this week again. I know I had to go through it, but I'm SO glad its finished. I'm so surprised how much emotion this week brought out of me. I am so drained. I know I'm not alone in this. I see moms struggling all around me with things that I don't have to struggle with anymore. And for them I reach out my arms and help where ever I can...even if its just in the cafeteria holding a small baby for another mama. Serving others has always brought joy to my life. My mom taught us that when we are lost in the service of others our life will smooth its self out. Sand she is right. My woes are nothing when I am helping others. And somehow joy ushers itself in. 

It's been awhile, though, since I have found my inner peace. Somehow I forgot to take time for me. I'm a creature or routine. A lover or structure. I love it! I love structure and balance and love to live my life in order. (I think thats the mom in me)  But I love to live my life on a whim as well. And I haven't taken many whims for myself lately. Not for myself. 

 I need to remember that I'm important, too. I need to recognize when my should is crying out for attention like my children family and friends do. When I look at the beautiful surrounding I live in, when I look at the nature all around me I'm surprised that i haven't enjoyed it more...like I used to. On my own. I have had many outings with my husband and children that I have LOVED, but I have forgotten tohow important it is to be alone. It is so healthy. It is so healing. I'm just glad today I TOOK an hour or soft myself to let the emotions out. To let the week go. To move on and become better and to be happy again...from the very bottom of my soul. 

kindness begins with me...

There is this little song I grew up singing in my church primary class. It goes like this, 

I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see.

So I think to myself remember this, kindness begins with me. 

Simple. Two lines. 24 words. Huge message. 

This is one  life motor I have tried to teach my children all their lives. Kindness begins with me. She they are being fussy or rude to each other, I yell down the hall, "kindness begins with?" And immediately I hear up to 4 little voices yelling back, "ME!" 

 I have this amazing daughter, {D}. Well, they are all amazing, but today I want to post about kindness, and this girl has such a genuine kind heart that I would LOVE to let shine here.

{D} is tender and genuine and thinks hard about the kind of person and friends she wants to be. She doesn't understand why children she meets/knows can be rude or mean. She is thoughtful and giving and kind. Let me tell you a little story about our special girl. 

A few years ago, maybe four years, my sweet little {D} was in here primary class at church when a sweet new little boy was brought in. He was DARLING! A face that makes you wanna just smooch it! And gorgeous blonde thick long it hair that was shiny and smooth. THAST is what my girl noticed first. This sweet boy was headed to her class' row to sit. His mom was helping him in. She pulled over a special seat they designed for him to help him sit straight and safe. He has Cerebral Palsy so he needed assistance sitting. As soon as his mother headed {D's} way, she quickly went to him. Making sure he was welcomed and had a place to sit and that he wouldn't be lonely. I was at the time the music leader so I watched the entire thing unfold. My heart was so full. I wasn't surprised for one second, but to watch a small child do such a sweet thing melted me. 

Each Sunday following, my girl would do the same thing, make sure he knew where he belonged...right next to her. It was maybe the second Sunday that my girl starting to play with this sweet boys hair. It was her FAVORITE thing to do. And he let her. I think he really liked it actually. ;) They became INSTANT friends. He trusted her. And she adored him. 

It wasn't long after they first met that we noticed something really special about these two. It wasn't JUST about kindness. It was about something more. And both sets of parents saw it quickly. These sweet children had a special friendship. One that I could only imagine started long before they came to Earth. Because being LDS, I believe in a life before this one. I believe in a heavenly life where we knew each other and were a family. I believe we came to Earth to be tested and learn and grow, And I believe one day we will move on form this Earthly life and return home to Heaven and to our family that we left behind. Those who have gone on before us and those who are waiting their turn. With this belief, I believe we have special friends on Earth that we knew then and we are so lucky to be with here as well. I have met in particular friend about 10 years ago that I truly can only chalk our relationship up as Heavenly. We are kindred spirits if you will :) THAT is what I believe is the relationship that {D} has with this sweet boy. Because if you see the two of them together, you would ONLY think that same things as well. 

The boy and his family didn't stay long in our ward. maybe after a year or so,  they moved to another part of our town, about 15 mins away. They went to different schools so they didn't see much of each other.  Then his family moved 4 hours away. They returned to our town a year or so later. ALL these moves couldn't keep their friendship from growing. These two LOVE each other. They have made sure ( with the help of their mama's ) to have movie trips and swim days and invited to each others birthday party. 

This sweet little boy couldn't say too many words when they first met, but he has an awesome computer that he can use to speak. His parents have created special buttons for common words and phrases he uses. It wasn't long after they met that there was a button with {D's} name on it :) 

There have been many times when I drive away from the movie theature, after dropping my sweet girl off with her friend and his mother, when I watch her push his stroller into the theatre. With each play time, his mother tells me what fun things they did and my heart swells for the way this sweet boy loves and trusts my daughter. And how she loves him and tends to him. I remember at  her birthday party my eyes were caught on her as she swam away from her other friends to make sure her sweet boy is happy and fine and included. And how sweet is it that he makes sure he takes her for a special treat on her birthday? 

Last week we got to attend his first baseball game. {D} stood so proudly watching her friend as he walked with his dad to the plate. His dad held him tight, helping him grip the bat, swinging with him to hit the ball straight in the air. She was so proud of him. When he didn't make it to first base she was so worried for him, so we ran to him by the dug out. She helped clean the dirt off of him, handing his mama a wipe for his face, giving him water to drink. And then stepping back to give him some space to recuperate and take a deep breath. 

These children are amazing. The are such great examples to us all.

These two have made plans for their future :) They have talked about it over and over. These small sweet innocent perfect children have a friendship of pure trust and kindness. This girl of mine is pure beauty. Her heart is the most beautiful kind. Her genuine desire to be kind radiates. I am so happy I get to be her mom. This tiny girl was maybe 5 years old when she befriended a sweet boy who couldn't even speak to her, and maybe couldn't understand her. But because of kindness, he knew what she was saying and she knew exactly what he was saying. 

check check ...is this thing on...

Really quick. A note for the weekend. After posting about some of the effects on blood sugars, I wanted to make a quick post about the signs/symptoms of diabetes.IF you feel you or anyone you know has shown signs of these things, ask a doctor or persona that has a blood glucose meter to check that person. It is a CHEAP check if it saves a life. 

Diabtetes is tricky. Not all signs and symptoms [ertain to everyone. If you have one or if you have seven of these symptoms, check yourself. IT NEVER HURTS TO CHECK. well okay maybe it hurts a TINY bit for the poke, ;) but it promise its worth it :)

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS TO LOOK FOR 

Sever thirst. (like a LOT of drinking.)                

Constant urination.

Sever and rapid weight loss. 

Tired.

Angry. 

Fruity scented breath.

Nausea or vomiting. 

 Always look for the signs. You should never feel bad/weird/awkward to ask for a quick blood check. Better safe than sorry.  Have a great weekend!

emotional wreck...

Diabetes has been a part of our family's lives for over 6 years. It has been tricky. Frustrating. Scary. Overwhelming. These girls of mine have been poked and prodded more than any children should be. They have been tested and quizzed. They have been taught and they have learned. They have shared their story and have educated others. They have been such amazing examples to EVERYONE they come in contact with about this nasty thing we call Diabetes. 

Like I have said before, we have from day one, taken this trial as it is. There is NOTHING we can do about it except take care of it. In return, their body will thank them by functioning properly. 

We have been so blessed to live in a time where it has been studied and explored. My children are 100% better off than the children with diabetes in the 70' and 80's. We will always be grateful for that.

 But like any disease, there are obstacles. We can't sugar coat it (no pun intended ;)  an pretend that because we are aware and on top of this disease, that we don't have mishaps. As good as we are about their numbers, the numbers can play games with us. 

Some of the things that effect blood sugar levels

Emotions. 

This is a HUGE one for my daughters. One in particular. 

She is my responsible, reliable, on time girl. She has most of her life in order.

She likes things a certain way. She has a tough time adjusting.

So when something isn't going as planned, she has a come apart. 

Sometimes it takes awhile for her to adjust. And talking to her about it, trying to help
her see and accept the 

adjustment doesnt always help. Sometimes it makes it worse. This is when 

our sweet girl drops. Her numbers plummet.

She goes from a perfect 124, to 58 FAST. 

And from there it all spirals. 

She then is low. Feeling shaky. Emotional. Frustrated and even confused. 

She won't speak rationally. 

I will tell her to check herself and she will refuse. 

( this doesnt happen overtime. only once in awhile. I'm only sharing these things with you for learning purposes...not to make her feel ashamed. Like I said before, same is AMAZINGLY responsible and ;likes to take care of things. This is just a situation that happens.)

Her number will go lower. Thats when I speak clearly to her, looking hr in the eyes. I tell her she can choose not to check, not to drink juice, but that she is also choosing to spend a night at the hospital. And if she chooses that, then she needs to go pack a bag. 

Thats when she gives me a look only she can give and she takes care of herself.

This emotional thing also happens when they are sad.

 If something has happened that makes them sad, they will drop. Their tears and emotions drain them of their sugars. They knows this and when they starts to cry they will tell me they feel low and we take care of it immediately. 

When the girls are angry.

Oh when they get mad their numbers drop as well. 

We are blessed that these girls have trusted their mama from the get-go and have always known the importance of their numbers. So when they are angry, they can feel a change and we can see it. The get slow, dizzy, even more frustrated and then they head to the kitchen for sugar or will ask for it. Sometimes we will offer it if they haven't asked sooner. 

Hormones.

When one of our daughters was around 11 she was CRAZY town angry! This is SO out of character for her! We had NO clue why she was so upset all the time. And why everything made her sad or angry. This went on for a couple years. It was a NIGHTMARE! Her number were out of control, too.

She had always had decent numbers...but keeping her number under 250 was near impossible. We were SO concerned. She went from a 1:15 ratio to a 1:12 then to a 1:10 and then to a 1:9...we flipped!! and her lentos went from 15 to 24 in a week! She got to 26 and thats when things started to slowly calm down. She is back down to a 22 now, and has been there for awhile. 

As their bodies grow up they will need more insulin but that much that fast freaked us out.

It has since stopped/changed and she has things under

control now. The same is happening with our other daughter. 

Her hormones are now out of control. Her attitude switches SO fast! And if her hormones and emotions are on a rise, this one has shown the opposite of her sister...her numbers drop. 

We have seen SO many lows because of this. 

(these are the times when the parents take what our amazing doctors have to say BUT also learn and discover what works for THEIR individual child. Children are not all the same...they are NOT text book. Somethings are, but each human is wired differently, and we have learned this VERY well.)

So this daughter needs direct sugar immediately. 

Her ratios haven't changed, yet. We expect they will. For now we take one day 

and one check at a time.

Exercise.

My oldest runs. She also has PE/Body Toning every day.

She gets a lot of exercise each day. She loves it!

But she has noticed, after a run especially, that her numbers go bananas.

She will go high. She will have to give herself extra insulin for that. 

You would think excercising would TAKE the energy/sugar from you. And there are times it DOES. 

We always have extra sugar when we swim or hike etc etc.

But as this daughter has gotten older and works out regularly, her number sodding always drop...but rather the opposite.

TRICKY!

This diabetes bit is tricky!!

Stress. 

This is the number one cause of one of my girls drop in numbers. 

She will stress and her number will drop. Then she will stress more about her number dropping and her sugar WONT stick. So she drops more. We have had some pretty scary times when we pump 75 grams of sugar in her in an hours time and she STILL wont rise in numbers. She cries. I get worried. FINALLY it kicks in and she can rest. 

These are the LEAST favorite moments.

Sickness.

We had our first moment with diabetes and sickness the first year they were diagnosed. It was 5 months after diagnoses when their pediatricians said children with autoimmune illnesses NEED the flu shot. We hadn't ever given them the flu shot before and never had problems. But because we were advizedto, we did. Within a couple few days our girls were up all night puking. One girl threw up 9 times that night. ANY sugar I was able to get in them came back up within a few minutes. IT was terrifying. I went to a neighbor/friends house that also had diabetes. I got a bit of advice from them and some sprite. Up until their diagnoses, my girls NEVER drank juice and NEVER had soda. So to think the only way to help my puking children was to put this carbonated sugar disgust in their clean bodies made my skin crawl. We did it. They kept a bit down. Then bit more. THAT wasn't fun. 

We have taught these girls to listen to their body. To feel what it is telling them. And to use their instinct and education to help them decided what to do. Diabetes is not something to take lightly BUT we can be happy knowing we have GREAT doctors and resources and knowledge. If we stay responsible with it, everyone can have a long happy full life. 

We have so many examples around us that have proven that.

i want to be invisible...

"I want to be invisible"...my daughter said tonight. Twice. Where on earth did she get that from?! My heart broke. I cuddled her in arms and told her why she is so important to our family. After a little while, she believed me and was good as new.

 "Uuuuugh! I just can't do it! I'm going to freak out!"  another daughter said. I asked why...she said she is almost out of tooth paste and is so frustrated!  I reminded her that her amazing mom has extra tooth paste in our storage and she can get some.

"Please mommy please! I really just can't go to school tomorrow! I can't do it anymore!" I am so proud of you for going to school, baby.  If you don't go you won't learn.  Maybe I'll come help in your class tomorrow.


"Mom...I've got it bad. I really really really like him." I giggle. "Its not funny! Okay well it kinda is."


"Mom, can you teach me about evolution?" Yes, lets chat about it for 36 minutes right as it is bed time and your other sisters are going bananas. Yes, I gave a full lesson on the theory of evolution to my 12 year old.


"MOM! listen! I finally got my fingers right! I can play the song!" Show me baby! Good job! I'm so proud of you! Okay tomorrow we can work on the next one.


"Mom, can you do my homework for me...I"m just so tired from today?" Come on, I'll help you. You are SO smart...we can get this done fast. Here are a few candy corn to get you motivated. ;) ;) ( love those little buggers.)


"Hi sister _. We are just calling to confirm that you will have dinner for the missionaries tonight." Yep! I'm on it. Wait! Something pops up ( imagine that) I can't deliver the meal. I call a pal and ask if she can deliver it for me. Lovely girl says she can, my kitchen just became CUT THROAT kitchen with 30 mins to prepare meal. I got this.

"We love this yard! And the kitchen is great!!" "Well, I have to tell you, there have been two other offers already made. You would be the third."  Poop.


"Her eye is really red." "its really itchy." "lemme look at it," i said hmm whats that...  "its a growth."  "No, sweetie thats just part of her eye." "Wait , I wanna see it!" No, its just part of your eye.  "Wait I have a GROWTH!"  NO! its not a growth. Good night.


Hey, babe. Whatever it is you need to do to get ready for me...please do it. Because we are "hanging out" tonight.  (insert shoulders falling here.)


I am exhausted. By the end of most nights I am in cruise control, scooping every last bit of patience and energy I have to make sure each day with these girls is great. But, this is a typical day. Everyone seems to need a piece of mama, am I right? This is actually a tiny fraction of the conversations I have with my babes. I know I'm not alone in this. The amount of energy and emotions that have been shown around my house lately has me running to sees candy much too often.
And the most strange weird crazy lunatic  thing about it all...I wouldn't want it to change. If it changes then they might not EVER talk to me. I know I am the most important most trusted most relied upon person to these four girls...and that big man of mine. Why on earth wouldn't I want that? That has been my goal from day one...I just didnt know it would be so exhausting.  ;)

oxox