too many cooks in the kitchen...

well, sometimes. But I'll tell you what. Having a LOT of cooks in my home has been a MAJOR blessing!

When all my girls were younger they LOVED to cook with me. I would head into the kitchen to prepare some sort of snack meal or dessert, and instantly I had four sets of beautiful eyes sparkling my way. They climbed on counters, scoot chairs over for themselves and a sister and stood motionless ready for instruction. They were ready to help prepare food in an instant.  Of COURSE I wanted to share that time with them! Of COURSE I wanted to make memories sharing family recipes and some of my very own! Of COURSE I knew the importance of teaching my children to work in a kitchen and the importance of food. How it sustains our life. How delicious and fun it can be! How it can literally bring joy! And also how to be smart and safe about what we feed our precious bodies.  However, its not as glamorous as it looks on Pinterest with clean white counter tops and a small child sitting still and pleasant on said countertop with a silver bag of non GMO milk chocolate chips. Not a tear in an eye. Not a sprinkle of flour on their clothes. Not even an egg shell (or entire egg) spilled across the floor.  No, no. Reality is NOT Pinterest.

MY reality: ALL my girls wanted to put ALL the fun ingredients in the Kitchen aid for cookie batter. ALL of my girls wanted to stir the bowl when making pancakes. ALL of them wanted to cut, peel or mash anything we were making every time we prepared food. All of them had slimy goopy messy hands at the same! I would play the 'who can stay frozen until mama comes to get you" game while taking one child at a time to the countertop each them up. I would talk to my children like a puppy saying "staaaaaaaaay" while I wiped up the food off the floor that had been spilled. I would divide the ingredients up into little dishes (pre measured) so they each got to pour something into the mix.  It was mass hysteria. I wanted to cry EVERY single time we cooked or baked. And I DID cry a lot of the times. I wanted to scream and I wanted to stop. There was always a huge mess during and after. There were always messy hands and frustrated sisters. There were ALWAYS SO MANY DARLING LITTLE HANDS!

I had to get a grip. I had to figure something out! I had to think of something fast so these precious babes I have been trusted with would learn and grow and enjoy our time in the kitchen. So, I made a cooking day for them all. Monday was for {S}. She got to help me with all the things! We spent time talking. I taught how to use certain utensils and tools. She learned to cut and she learned to read the recipes. She got to learn how wonderful it can be in the kitchen creating. The got to have quiet calm pleasant time with her mother (and I with my daughter) without any frustrations. They ALL got that! Tuesday was for {E}. Wednesday was for {D} and Thursday was for {L}. And Friday was for pizza! Saturday and Sunday I got to cook alone (my therapy).

You guys! It was AWESOME! We did this for a year or two and then the magic happened. Little by little I would let them take over the entire meal for the night. I stood back and talked them through certain things. They excelled like I never would have known! They got to learn what they liked and what they didn't! One loves to bake! One loves to crack the eggs the very most! One loves to cook more than bake. One loves to eat and sample while she goes and one loves to clean while she goes. It was GENIOUS!!! The peace that filled my home was priceless. The lessons learned and time spent was priceless.

It has also brought so much relief when Mama has to be somewhere right at dinner time. I can assign a daughter to prepare a meal and it gets done! It has been therapy (like for myself) for a few of them. It has been a stress reliever and peace bringer. It has helped them learn service for others and it has taught them about health. It was a TON of work and I had to bring my most patience BUT! It has been one of the GREATEST rewards!!! The memories are there. The awful ones from days before which now I can almost laugh about ;) And the lovely ones from our special times together. I will complexity cherish that time with my daughters.

If you are struggling with cooking in your home, give this a try! Give your children a special day with you in the kitchen. Have them even choose the meal they will prepare. Hey, why don't ya even let them shop for the ingredients with you! Give them a small portion of that hefty shopping list and get them feeling important!

While potty training has and always will be my LEAST favorite part of parenting, teaching my children to cook is ranked up there with my MOST favorite parts.









xo-teresa

Looking through old family photos should be a no-no when you are pms-ing. For reals! As I was searching through the 24,000 photos on my phone this morning (yes thats right...I have much too many), my heart began to ache. Oh my darling little ones. Why did you have to grow up?

I have loved being a mother. Even on the rough days. Except for during the potty training days. Thats when I loved being a mother but also wished we were animals that lived outside. ;) But those don't last too long. I have loved watching each of my children grow and learn and become such cool humans! Every chapter, every paragraph has taught me something about this glorious life (and super unglamorous sometimes) that I wouldn't have learned without them. No college degree, no profession could teach me the things I learned.

The goal has always been to raise my children to one day be capable adults. So here I am. With amazing growing children. One about to become an adult. We have almost made it! And I sit this morning with heartache, missing my little ones. Missing the simpleness of our lives. Missing their tiny chunky hands and arms wrapped around me. Missing their wide eyes listening to my voice as I sing them to sleep. Missing the cuddles. Them climbing on my lap so I can rock them in my chair, while I dream of what you will become. Ooooh darlings. I sure loved those days. and I miss them.

So, how on earth can I get through this day without crying about it?! Well, nowadays, those little bright eyes have become bigger bright eyes, waiting to tell ME all about their days. Those simple days are FILLED with chatter about boys and things they are learning. We are busy running around watching them grow and become those beautiful humans I dreamed about. I am their assistant in this life. Guiding them, teaching them and listening to them. And they might not be as little as they once were, but they still snuggle next to mama and let me rock them and sing with them and embrace the glorious humans they are.  So THAT is what I will remember when I ache for those times. I will stay right in the moment knowing that this life is a gift! Each moment of it! And one day I will long for the days I am in right now.

xo-teresa

setting goals

I finished a book the other day. A friend recommended it to me. Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I loved it. I loved it so much. While reading it I felt important. I felt motivated. I felt like I wasn't alone in the feelings and thoughts I have. And as per normal, I didn't relate to all of the topics she shared at this moment in my life, but some were spot on! Some were spot on for Teresa circa 1998. Some were Teresa circa 2007. Some of the topics are Teresa right this minute!

One of her topics about setting goals had my bestie thinking...which then got me thinking. The bestie said something to the effect of, "Dude! We are total losers! We don't have any goals!" jk. She didn't say it like that ;) But, what she did say was that we NEED goals. My rebuttal to that was, "Oh honey, we have LOTS of goals!" I started thinking of the goals and listing them. Getting children to bed on time. Getting family to church on time. Planning next activity for the youth in our ward. Washing and folding all of the laundry. Attending the temple once a week. As I listed and she listened, we realized all of our goals are mommy goals or calling goals. Some of our other pals chimed in as well and mentioned their goals. Making sure our children stayed alive each day was one of the responses...which is actually real life. Ask anyone.

As we kept thinking, we realized its so important to make goals as a mother, but we need to make goals for ourselves. This includes goals for our marriages. As a mother, we know how easy it is to be sucked into the Mommy Zone. Hey lemme just stop right there and say some of us LOOOOOVE the Mommy Zone! I can get lost in it for months, completely saturated in the work of my family  and be perfectly happy!! BUT, there will come the time when in some way or another we realize what has happened to us and we say, "Pump the brakes! I need a breather."

So, we decided to make some personal goals. Bestie said she wanted to make sure she had gum in her purse. So she did it. GOAL!  Start blogging again. GOAL! Running everyday was another goal. Not punching a wall when we get frustrated. Making dinner in the croc pot on tennis match days.  Read a book you love...the actual book, not audible, Teresa. ;) Make a certain time for just you and your spouse each day/night. These are great goals!

As I hit the ground running with these goals I feel better about myself already. I haven't made any long term goals quite yet, mine are for the next month. But, its start. And thats what I'd like to motivate you today with!

Start small.
A goal is a goal no matter the size. Tell yourself you want to accomplish SOMETHING. If you want a goal of traveling the world thats great! Write it down!  But if you haven't made and reached a goal for awhile you might want to pick something that will encourage you and not set you back. Seriously. I want so badly to travel to Jerusalem. Scotland. Iceland. Thailand. And more! But, if I get too far ahead of myself it will discourage me. Maybe you don't work that way... so have at it! London bound you are! But, I know I should start with something I KNOW I can achieve in the near future so I can feel pumped and believe in myself! Also...children. My big goals of traveling really do revolve around school schedules and budgets. Sharing my money with the minions is real life. ;)

Make a list.
Organize and prioritize your goals. See which ones you really want to get done. Ask yourself what their benefits are to your life. Which ones are attainable in the near future and which ones will take more time.

Achieve them!
Get moving! Nothing is stopping you from reaching your goals! Set your mind to it and go!! And don't forget to enjoy the ride!



xo- teresa

Hi. my name is mom...

Ooooooooh my goodness! Its been almost three years since I have blogged and I want back! I have found myself with a new motivation and a new name! I have a lot to say on a daily basis and have missed having an outlet...except my best friends ears! (poor girl) So, here I am. Ready to go at it again! Hopefully as I blog, I can share my experiences with you and you can share yours with me! If you find this blog uplifting or positive in anyway, please share!

xo-teresa

a parents report card...

Oh man. Have you ever thought about this? I mean, maybe looking at parenting in a different way than we usually do? Like what if we were graded? What if we had an instructor or teacher grading us on they way we are parenting. What would be our report card? What would our marks say about us? Don't we truly ALL feel like we are messing up in SOME way or another? And just when we think we are about to Ace a test we bomb it? Even after we have studied and worked hard and paid attention to the important things?

Well, through the years I have received some report cards and progress reports of my own. A screaming child in line at the grocery store. A daughter running to the kitchen with a hand print on her back from another daughter hitting her. A messy house. My own messy hair..because we all now a messy hair day must mean we don't have all our ducks in a row right? ;) (hahaha) What about a daughter who has comforted a hurt friend, or a daughter who shared her snacks or a daughter who told the truth. Sometimes I receive a child with a Honor roll certificate or a great piano recital or a child with a trophy from her dance completion! Those are the GOOD report cards!

 Thankfully, when I get the not so great progress reports I have been taught to LOOK at my mistakes and keep trying for that A at the end of the term. Sometimes I DO get that A. Sometimes I work SO hard and my marks are less than I expect. Sometimes I mess up royally and have to re take the entire course. Like today, when I got upset at one daughter for spilling her cereal bowl in the car today. Yeah. I'll re read that chapter. I have passed that test before!! I really have! But, this morning was different. Different emotions and thoughts in my mind and different needs for the day resulted in a different reaction than when I took the test last week :/

And I think thats what makes us feel like we've failed. Because we KNOW what we are capable of. We know we have done better. We know the kind of parent we want to be and the kind of parent we ARE. So when we don't do things just the way we hope we always do, we feel like we are a wreck. We feel like our kids won't ever forgive us. We feel like we have taken 8 steps back. Thats exactly how I felt today. Like I had been such an amazing mama and then boom. Over spilled cereal.

I have to talk myself down to earth.  I have to tell myself and my kids that I AM a great mom. I have to tell them hey listen! I make mistakes, too! Sometimes I need to be I sorry for my actions and I have to try harder. We all do. And I guess that in its self should make me feel like I didn't fail. Because now I get to teach them to forgive others and ALSO forgive themselves, right?  UUUUUUGH. Being a parent is ROUGH! Best job ever and would never trade it, but when you really care you notice how tough it really is.

I know I am trying my hardest everyday to take care of my children and help them learn and grow. I know I am doing my best to keep them happy. But I also know that a happy well taught and well rounded child doesn't mean the child is always smiling and laughing and running around with balloons in their hands. Sometimes a child will be let down or grounded or disciplined for their behavior. But in the long run that child is the happiest...right?

So, this morning I might have failed. But maybe I can retake the test. Maybe when they come home and I teach them to clean the car seats properly after a mess, and teach them to forgive when I apologize  and then show them we can move on...maybe they will learn a great lesson. And then maybe I'll get that A. Or a B. I'm okay with B today, too ;)

top ten reasons I love being a mom..

1. Smooches.

Lets start off this list with this because, dude. You all know the daily amount of smooches we get from our babes is pretty much the main thing that keeps us going on this roller coaster! Who does't melt when their child plants on them?! 

2. Newborn snuggles.
Going right along with number 1, snuggles...from your newborn. Oh the delicious smell of a fresh new baby, bathed and lathered in baby magic lotion. Holding your child close to your chest and feeling their warm skin. (my uterus is screaming right now) It's. Magic.

3. Birthdays.
Oh dear me. How I love a birthday!! I love birthdays for my children, I love birthdays for you, I love birthdays for me, I  love birthdays for everyone!! I LOVE celebrate each one of my children lives! We re-tell each girls birthday story on their birthday so they can remember how important that day is. I love the individual celebration if each girl. The wonderful things they bring to our family and to the Earth. Oh and please don't forget how delicious birthday cake is! Yeah. Birthday cake should have its own number on this list ;)

4. An excuse to leave any terrible situation.
Oh me oh my. There have been PLENTY of times when I find myself in situation I wish I could run from. Plenty. And the, "I gotta go, she needs to lay down," or "Ew. She smells stinky. I better go change her," or the "I need to get my little one from school right quick," excuse has helped ...a lot.

5. Holidays.

These can be UBER expensive having children BUT the price we pay is ALWAYS worth the adorable dresseded up scarecrow or cowboy or bunny rabbit on Halloween. And the wish lists go on and on but on Christmas morning those glittery eyes that are surprised with all the Christmas wishes and dreams  make us do it again...year after year. And the yummy valentine candies we buy for them...and grab an extra for us...worth it. And teaching our babes why we celebrate The 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King Jr. day make Holidays one of THE greatest things about being a parent.

6. Acceptance.
If you have never felt accepted before, taken for exactly who you are, you are in for a huge surprise when you hold a new baby. They don't care about ANYTHING except love. Aaaaand a few gallons of milk. And some sleep, too. They don't care about what you did, what you say, how you think or what you wear. They're just hoping for a little love and prooobably praying that you won't drop them...which takes me to number 7...

Trust. These humans trust us adults with everything they have. They trust what we say. They trust what we feed them. They trust us while we drive, they trust us with their clothing. They trust that we are not feeding them poison and sending them to school in a swimsuit in the middle of winter. They get in a car, buckle up and look out the windows dreaming of the places they'll go, what a cow says and what their next meal will be. They just TRUST us. And that trust brings a GREAT feeling for us.  A reward that can't be bought...only earned.

8. Purpose.
Somedays I want to sleep in until 9 am. Lie. I'm lying. EVERY day I want to sleep in until 9 am.  I just LOVE my bed, okay?! ;)
And on the rough days when I have gone through a death, a loss, or the very most stressful day, I just want to curl in a ball and sulk. But, I have little ones that need me. So, I get out of my slump. I get dressed (kinda), put on a bra, brush my teeth and move through. These babies give purpose to push through the rough times. They bring smiles and sunshine. They bring other things to the table, too, like fighting and sassing etc but this is a POSITIVE post today...so wrapping those little arms around their mamas/daddys  neck on an off day really does make things better.

9.Future grand babies
EVERY grandparent I have talked to says being a grandparent is ALMOST better than being a parent! For many reasons but a few are because hello! you get to have those newborn snuggles you have missed so much over the years!! You get the love and adoration and trust ALL over agin!! BUT without the stress of making sure they are perfectly dressed and fed and off to school and church and friends houses everyday! You don't have to wake up through the night to change them and feed them!! You don't have to buy the necessary feminine hygiene products for them and you DONT have to deal both the sass and frustrations of PUBERTY!! Wooohooo! I plan to be an attentive hands on grandparent, an extension of a parent to my grand children, so long as my daughters want that. So, I will be helping encourage the standards and beliefs my children teach their children. BUT, I won't have the major stress and worry that their own parents will have. If I raise my children well and if they choose, they will hopefully take lessons learned in their home growing up and my husband and I can't trust THEM to raise their children well. MAN! I'm excited for grand babies!


And number 10.

10. Love.
The perfect, honest, pure, unconditional love a child brings to your life, is the number one reason I will NEVER regret being a parent and ALWAYS be grateful for. There is NO love like the love given to you from your own special child that you watch grow everyday. That you teach. That you pour your heart and soul into. That you sacrifice for. That you worry about and think about throughout each day. Sharing your life and making memories and watching little humans grow gives such a sense of pride and happiness. The dance recitals, trips to the beach, vacations in the mountains and days spent at Disneyland are all part of this wonderful journey as a parent. We do these things because of love. The love we GIVE and the love received. Love is the reason, folks. Love will always be the reason and love will always be the answer.

the sayings of a mama...

Between my mama and myself I have collected quite a few "sayings" I use with raising my children. Wanna know what they are...okay, sure!

I love you for goodie.
You're my favorite (insert childs name here) in the whole world.
Go the extra mile.
Do unto others.
Beautiful in your heart is the best kind of beautiful.
Kindness begins with...me.
Remember who you are.
Stick together.
Sharing is caring.
Be your own kind of beautiful.

The lazy man works twice.
Birds of a feather flock together.
I am raising capable adults.
Go look it up.
There is always something to be done.

Let me know what your fave is!

 xoxox

joking with diabetes...

Okay we all know it...Type 1 Diabetes is rough. Its terrible. It stinks. Poking fingers and counting carbs and drinking sugar late at nights is AWFUL! It's a SERIOUS thing. But the other part of that reality is that there are MANY people who deal with this daily. And if we sit in a puddle of seriousness and fear and pity, we will waste so much precious time. Attitude is EVERYTHING, right? Well, to our family it IS. We KNOW what diabetes means. But we also KNOW what it REALLY is like living with it. Times two. With TWO of our children diabetic we have had to find the positive in this.
So, last night my daughters and I laughed and laughed at some of the funny things that come with diabetes...because guess what? There ARE funny things...like this one...

 And this...because its TRUE!

 I can't tell you how many times our girls have dealt with this!

 

And the BIGGEST misconception of them all...

raising capable adults...

oh man. When my oldest daughter {S} was born I vowed to be the best mom I could be. So it was no surprise that when she started school I planned to make a hot meal for her at least three times a week and pack a lunch filled with healthy foods (fruit, nuts, cheese, sandwich, snack) and love. ;) I took pride knowing that my daughter knew how much I cared about her because it was obvious, right?! A packed lunch says I love you in a  way nothing else can, right?! I TRULY thought this was the way. Preeeeetty much the only way to be the best mom I could be. Her hair was smooth and braided and hairsprayed. Her clothes were neat and tidy and smelled of the good stuff. Well manicured nails, back pack straps the perfect fit and a hug and smooch goodbye. Ahhhh. All was well.

By my third baby things were changing. Hair was still perfect (pah-lease). Clothes were still tidy. Shoes, homework, breakfast. But I was struggling. I wanted to do all the things I thought were the best, but sometimes I just COULDN'T do it all. I had to learn time management again. I had to prioritize. So sometimes breakfast was cereal (heaven forbid).

When I heard my best friend talk about what her children were "packing in their lunches" my heart sank. WHAT?! "But you are the best mom I know," I thought. "You don't pack your kids lunches?? You let THEM pack their OWN lunch box??" My world was rocked. ;) I watched as these little children got dressed and packed their lunches and hopped on their bikes to...get this...ride their bikes to school...themselves!!! (gasp) I mean the block and a half distance was SURE to ruin them!

I'm NOT kidding. I didn't make a scene as I watched this, I didn't even say anything. And most times that cute mama would walk with them to school with a stroller full of baby. THAT I loved! I thought that was precious! But watching this mom, who might I add was MUCH more experienced than I was (she has 9 years of parenting on me)  taught me a LOT. She taught me more than I might have ever expressed to her. She was the big sister I never had. Watching her I could hear my moms words in my head, "I am raising capable adults." My mom said these words ALL the time when I was growing up. When she pulled me put of bed (literally) around midnight to sweep the floor "the right way" or when she made me clean my entire room alone and my sister didn't have to do a bit or when she wouldn't tell me the answer to the questions I had (in which I heard "go look it up"....a LOT in my life) my mom was raising me to be a capable adult.

I never talked back growing up. But if I ever gave a look or body language that asked why on earth she was doing this to me, she would say, "I am raising capable adults." Oooooh  I grew to LOATHE when she said that. Because come on! She was exactly right but come on!! I just wanted to stay in bed!! Couldn't you just let me do it in the morning?? Nope. Because guess how many times my mom pulled me out of bed? Once. I never wanted that again....so I swept the floor right. Or maybe she just found another way to punish me...IDK. ;)But really. She made the point. It stuck. And THAT is what we as parents are here to do.

Over the past years my daughters have grown. My job as a mom has become so much more than just a cuddle and a smile and food on the table. I have been TEACHING these humans how to LIVE. How to do the things we need to do one day on our own. So, they all know how to make a lunch for themselves. Sometimes they prefer it. Honestly there have been days when I feel like I have failed them because I didn't make their lunch. Other days I'm just so grateful they CAN. Although I still have two younger children, my parenting methods have changed to adapt to my older daughters chapters. They want to grow. They want to learn. And they NEED to!

So, while learning to adjust to my children growing up, I thought okay. I can let my kids make their own lunches. I will set the standard of what goes into the lunch and they can choose what they want. As long as they each put a FRUIT, some NUTS, CHEESE, a SANDWICH and a SNACK I would learn to let go a little. Fruit can be vegetable...dried, fresh or canned. Cheese can be string cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt/gogurt, laughing cow cheese, even a few slices of their fave sandwich cheese is fine. A sandwich can be anything from an actual sandwich or last nights left overs. This has been the saving grace for YEARS. They know what goes in to a lunch and they do it! They love it! And when they take care of each others lunches...my heart melts. Watching my oldest pack EVERY lunch last night for her and her sisters was a HUGE payday. Going the extra mile was something I learned as a girl scout and I have taught my girls. Sometimes they do it. Sometimes they don't. Last night, she did.

And tonight, when I heard my precious six year old start packing her lunch like her big sister did a few minutes before...I thought I was going to break. My heart hurt. She shouldn't have to do that, I thought for a few moments. But when I snuck around the corner (creep) I saw her washing an apple fro herself, dry it (on her shirt) get a plate out and the apple cutter. She tried to cut it on the counter, but then said to herself out loud, "I'll do it down here so I can reach." I watched her brace herself. I saw her balance her hands with the apple and the cutter. Then I saw her gleam with pride as she cut. It shifted as she pushed down so the pieces were misshapen. I went to her to help her. I told her I was so proud of her. She took each piece out and placed them in a baggie. She was SO proud of herself. And so was I. It took me sometime, but I think I can be okay with it. I might have  a six year old that makes her own lunch, and you might think like I once did...thats abusive! (hahaha)But hey guess what? I am raising capable adults.  One day they will not only be able to make their own lunch, but they will be confident, serving, giving capable adults. And THAT was the goal all along.

the awful truth about parenting...

They grow up. I mean it. Its the worst. Its the truth that we all know and the truth we will all face. But  there have defiantly been times when I think it will never come. Somedays we have this thought in back of our minds that as we are living in the roughest worst times a human being can ever be subjected to, it won't ever end! Our homes will always be a mess ( this is true..and I don't like it), we won't EVER get a good night sleep, and can't we just make ONE meal that everyone likes! Sheesh! 

 The fighting NEVER ends! The homework keeps adding up. The chores arent done correctly, the car is always a wreck, won't ANYONE ever empty the dish washer without being asked? The laundry will NEVER...really it just won't EVER stop piling up. Who wears tis stuff anyway?! Seriously didn't you just try this on and now its in the hamper?! The shower will always be an area of fussing, someone will always need their hair redone and my gas tan will never be filled for more than a day. 

Its the worst!! Did I really sign up for this? Permanent taxi driver...thats me! Expert birthday present getter for the past...HI! i'm right here! Diorama and science project professional ...its in my resume. 

This is the time of my life where sometimes seeing the light at the and of the

 tunnel is NOT happening. 

But the flip side seems awful. 

I'm no expert on this flying the coop thing. I haven't experienced it at all yet. But as I watch my parents go through each of their six children leaving the nest, I can't help but think what it could be like for me. And when I DO think about it, I want to vomit. Because these girls are my whole life.  15 years ago my life became something greater. It actually MEANT something. These chidlren, one by one, changed me and have made me who I really am today. (yes, taxi driver is part of who I am..and I'm okay with that).  My life has revolved around them. My thoughts decisions and actions have been for them. So to imagine one by one they will LEAVE...AHHH! How is that possibly the best thing for anyone?!

               Its a truth I don't want to know.  It's a truth I am hesitant to meet. When the day comes I know I will put on brave face on and be excited while preparing each of them for a new chapter...and I will crumble the moment they take flight. I know I will be happy for them...they will be doing whats good and right. But my mommy heart will break. And my mommy heart will lean on and hold tight to the faith I have in them and the way I have tried to raise them.   All my days of thought and prayer and concern and energy given for these babes will be put to the test. The truth will be known. How did I REALLY do as a parent? Did I teach them enough? Did I love them enough? The truth is one day it won't be up to me anymore. One day the fruits of my labor will be shown.  And my beautiful chicks will become beautiful swans, gliding and floating and making their marks in the world.  

Its a day I am completely comfortable with taking its time to get here.

if only i could freeze time...

these precious little arms have already gotten bigger. 

I remember when I took this photo. 

Of course I do, it wasn't too long ago. 

We took a little bike ride to the park near our home. 

We had a picnic lunch packed. We did this knowing a storm was in store, so we 

took an umbrella with us. We sat on the cool grass. We watched the ants carry crumbs in a straight line. We munched a little. We chatted a lot. We played on the tire swing and I watched her climb the stairs to the big slide. I prayed she wouldn't get hurt. She smiled and laughed. 

It was kinda like a story book...or a movie. Because REALLY it was perfection. 

Its the kind of moments in life we all want but finding them sometimes takes more time than it should. I  didn't want this day to end. I snapped a photo knowing I wanted to remember this forever. And not just in my mind. 

 Then the rain came. We opened our umbrella and sat under it while the drops fell on us. IT WAS PERFECT. We enjoyed the quick shower. We let the water hit our feet.

 I wish we could go back to that minute. It really wasn't that long ago but my heart aches for it. The time goes by so quickly. As much as I LOVE watching my babies grow up and seeing the wonderful people they are becoming, it hurts to see these chubby hands get thin. Its difficult, truly difficult to not have my little ones cupped in my arms and swaddled by my chest this same way. Don't think I don't try! Because oh yes I do! I scoop my darlings up like babies more than I should admit ;) I can't help it. I LOVE them. All the crazy that comes with parenthood is peanuts compared to the joys of being with these little people. 

So while these little arms don't wrap around me like this anymore, its okay. 

It doesnt mean they don't wrap around me at all. 

xoxo

easiest chicken dinner...

thank you thank you Kimber over at thepinningmama.com for this AMAZING recipe! If you haven't seen this or tried this you MUST! Simple, tasty and gluten free!

I used 4 chicken breasts
Basil pesto
2 Roma tomatoes
1 cup shredded mozzarella


Lay your chicken breast in a glass pyrex like dish. Spread a few tablespoons of pesto on top. I baked this for 25 mins. Then I added sliced tomatoes on top and and sprinkled about a cup of mozzarella cheese on top. Then I cooked it for another 10 mins.

Seriously. If this isn't easy enough and SCRUMPTIOUS enough for you...I don't know what to tell ya! Happy Sunday!

the teenagers perspective...

Its funny, we think we know what our children think of us. We think we know how they feel. We might even think for one second that we are doing a good job! And then, after a fun night having one on one time with on of your teens, it happens...the truth comes out. In the most respectful manner possible, with "I'm sorry" and "I don't mean to offend you" the truth comes out.

I tried to keep my emotions to myself. I let her say what she wanted to say, I even asked her to elaborate, to make sure she gets her feelings out and her point across. REALLY. Tell me how you feel.

This teen in particular has a GREAT way with words. She is thoughtful in the words she chooses, and yet honest to the core. So, naturally, the words spilled out. Her observations were shared. My wants were to defend, but my instincts told me to wait. Let her say what she needs. Let her be heard, and above all else, learn from what she is saying.

Its funny, because the way I was raised was TOTALLY different. It didn't matter what I thought. I was a child. A teenager. My option didn't count. I was respectful. Obedient. Quiet when I was supposed to be quiet and I got consequences even if I didn't earn them. Because I wouldn't dare fight or talk back. But, I feel like this generation of parents are trying to raise children in a different way. Some of those ways I feel are absurd. (post another time) But other ways, that I am embracing, are great. I feel like listening to my children is a GREAT way to parent. I feel like there is a line between disrespectful children and honest children. I have worked HARD to build a relationship with my children based on respect and trust... on BOTH sides. Hopefully teaching by example that I am deserving of respect but they, too, are deserving of respect from their parents. I'm trying to teach them that we are the safe place for them to turn to. That as a family we need to stick together.

So, when my teenager comes to me with honest words about ME, I am not offended. I don't feel disrespected. I am not under attack by a naughty child or a rude teenager. I am letting my wonderful child let her feelings out. Letting her have a voice. Building a relationship. Communication is COMPLETELY different from argument. Letting my child communicate her thoughts and feelings might be rough for a bit because the truth SHE sees might not be the truth I see. Because teenagers don't see the "behind the scenes" of raising a family and being married and making choices EVERYDAY that effect more than just one person aaaaaand that most of the time HAVE to be made with another person. They don't see that. They don't see the ones I take for the team, the battles I choose to give to my husband or to my children. And they dont see the times he gives the battle to me. Or the things he does quietly while they sleep, or are at school, or doing the wonderful things they love to do. Sometimes its really important for them to see and know of those things we do...but sometimes they just get to go about their lives not knowing all the secrets to being a spouse and a parent. Those are things they will get to learn first hand.

So, when my daughter opens up and tells me things that she thinks about, things she sees, things that matter to her, things she doesnt understand, I won't worry. I will meet her opinions and thoughts with open arms...because guys, its just another chance of me to teach my daughter. Another chance I get to  bond with her, another way I get to build the relationship on trust and understanding. And hopefully, all the time spent and energy given, will lead these little humans down a path of success.

a big dose of mom guilt...

My child is sick...ugh. Its one of the WORST things a mom hears/says. For many reasons. First and foremost, its upsetting that out sweet children get sick. We don't want them to feel awful. We don't want them to be in pain. We want them healthy and playing and learning and smiling!

 But unfortunately, sickness comes about every child. And when it is one of my beauties turn, I turn into  different mom. I wish I was the kind of mom that was able to JUST sit and snuggle my sick one. I wish we could JUST watch television all day, read our favorite books, eat a warm cup of soup and take a nap.

BUT reality is different. At least for me. When my children get sick my first goal is to get the sick one better. My second goal is to make sure it doesnt spread. This turns me into my alter ego, Super Germ Killer! Once this mama changes into this uniform its all over. These germs don't stand a chance!

Typically when I have a sick babe, I got through at least one bottle of lysol spray, a tub of lysol wipes, a few ounces of hand sanitizer and TONS of hand soap. My laundry piles gets taller and my washer is running more. I bust out my Do Terra oils like a mad scientist/hocus pocus witch concocting mystical potions that wipe out illness in a flash!

When I have a sick babe it amazes me that my daily chores and duties STILL call my name...imagine that! The dishes still need to be done, toilets still need to be scrubbed. Things still spill, on the floor needing to be cleaned and the counters still get sticky. Breakfast, lunch and dinner still needs to be planned and prepared and served...and then cleaned up. Errands still need to be run, groceries still need to be bought, phone calls STILL need to be made. On top of the already existing list of to do's, having a sick babe usually means a new list. A doctor appointment, maybe a pharmacy run, a call to excuse them from school. If its a upset tummy sickness, I usually have throw up to clean and blankets to add to that laundry pile.

Sometimes when they are sick, I feel like a chicken running around with my head cut off! That and Cinderella combined! Mom I need a drink. Mommy can you get me a new blankie. Mom I feel hot. (run to get the thermometer and medicine.) Mommy can I have a snack. (Anything that isn't dairy, isn't sugar, doesnt have red 40 and too rough on their throats) A mama could go bananas!

Usually, when all the chores are squeezed into the day of sick, and all the meals are done, the other family members are taken care of and I can take  a deep breath, I can lay with the sick one and cuddle until they fall asleep in my arms. Just to do it all again the next day.

One day I might be that mom that does NOTHING but cuddles and snuggles with my sick babe. But with SO many other needs from me...and so many IMPORTANT things to run around doing FOR the sick one, I just feel lucky I can hold them AT ALL. It will always hurt my heart that I can't be the rocking chair mama...but at least my children get better fast, right? And MOST of then time, no one else in the family gets sick. Which is saying a LOT! Because a sick MAMA is NOT allowed ;)

you don't have to be a professional...

You guys. Theres have been SO many times when I think, "I'm going to get back into running!" Or maybe I'll think about yoga, or running the stadium steps. Take up a spin class at the gym! 

But something stops me. Maybe  family duties. Maybe I get lazy. Or maybe I want to spend my time visiting with a pal. Sometimes I find myself unmotivated to start because I think I'm not strong enough. I feel like if I go into spin class or the Zumba class I won't be able to keep up...and thats intimidating. It really is. 

Let me say this, I find peace and happiness in a couple things in the fitness world. Running and yoga. 

If I want to pick them back up again, I find myself doing these things ALONE. On my own. Sporadically. I have had a running buddy before. And I love my stadiums girls! And honestly, one day soon I hope to do that spin class. I know I will be that slower girl in the back. But until then, I take a bit of time for myself, by myself, doing whatever makes me feel good. Its not a workout with instructions. Its not written down. I don't have a trainer or a video or a clock. I just do my own thing. And feel good about it. I'm NO professional fitness gal. I don't lift weights. I don't know what each muscle is called. I don't know each pose in yoga...and half the time I'm pretty sure I'm not doing them right. But I get myself out and moving and stretching. I find happiness in knowing I'm not a professional...and thats okay. 

engaged in intentional parenting...

I watched the LDS General Conference this weekend and a few different things stuck out to me that I wanted to share and chat about.

Ask yourself, are you parenting with thought and reason? Do you THINK about the things you are about to say to your children before you say them? Do you try to understand the reasons your children do the things they do? Are you engaged in parenting your children...and do you do you have the best of intentions for THEM?

 This subject is probably one of my VERY favorites I listened to. Engaging in intentional parenting.  I take parenting pretty serious. Maybe too serious sometimes. When I was handed each of my children I knew I wanted to do my best. I wanted to be more than just in their lives. I wanted to be a source of security and safety for them. I wanted to give these beautiful angels EVERY chance possible to succeed in this life. In MY opinion, to succeed means SO many things. I want my children to be kind. To know who they are. To know where they come from. I want them to be smart. Have  great education. Thoughtful. Unselfish. I want them to find love and be loved and be loving. I want them to be strong and gentle. I want them to have manners and respect. If they had these things, I would think it was successful. Along with a few others things. 

 I knew it was mostly MY responsibility to help them learn these things. So began my intentional parenting. Most choices I made, I did intentionally.  I would need to be a good example to them. I would need to watch the things I do and say and the way I behave. If I want my children to be respectful...then I need to show them respect. I don't believe that just because I am their mother  I GET respect from them. I have to earn it. And I need to give it. If I didn't want my children to speak a certain way, then I couldn't either. If I wanted them to be amazing readers, I would need to encourage reading and read myself. You, get the point.

I want my children to KNOW who they are. That they belong somewhere. That they are part of something so large and important. That they, as an individual, are SO important. That they are never overlooked. I want them to have a relationship with God. I want them to know they are loved and cared for. I knew I would need to teach them and be the example. It would need to be an intentional decision to teach them daily about this.  I LOVE when my children walk in on me when I am praying. They see how important it is. And I love even more when I walk I on their prayer time. 

Not only do I find these things important but PLAYING with our babies is so important! So spending my extra time with them is HUGE! The are my most favorite people! Fishing and swimming and reading and saying and chalking drawing and shopping and traveling are all thins that help us get to know each other and make memories. But, spending that time with each other opens time for us to talk. To teach and share with each other the things that are important. 

I have said it a MILLION times, parenting four daughters is rough...because of the chat time! However, I have also said it is one of the greatest things about them, too. This chat time is when we talk about anything and everything. 

Being engaged in our children lives will bring us closer as a family. I truly feel that if parents engage in parenting EACH child they have, and EACH day, those children will grow to be confident, happy and secure. Which then leads to success. And if each parent engages in parenting, they will feel a sense of happiness and pride in themselves. I feel so much better about myself when I spend time with my children. When they have amount of attention they need, there is less reason for them to act out in negative ways.  I feel like it is THE BEST thing for everyone involved.

So, my goal this week is to make sure I am making the time with my darlings matter. I will make sure they know they are loved and important and have wonderful qualities about them. I want to play with them more...maybe I will bring out some boards games this week! And a new box of side walk chalk NEVER hurts! And if it rains, like the reports predict, maybe I will take advantage of that and dance and play in the rain with them! Because I only get one chance and I want to make it a great one!

How to win an argument ...

Why doesn't my husband understand this fully yet? I mean I THINK he does but there is something really teeny tiny in that mans brain that must tell him, "This one...try to win this one!" What? Like he royally thinks he can out smart out talk or out reason with me?? Oh honey lemme tell you. This girl has a LOT of things on her side that will help her win the argument. One. A vagina. I am a WOMAN. A life giver. A life sustainer. Thats it. thats all I need. I win.

But just in case you need more reasons, here ya go. Imma talker. It's my one and only talent. This talent of mine SCREAMs I'm gunna win. My ability to out word my husband is my armor. The ability to say 72,000 word per minute that makes SENSE is my sword. I got this.

Oh and hi my name is Teresa. I'm half Latina. I know its a stereotype and some silly's might actually be offended by this but hey...its truth. The stereo type came from somewhere. So you just stand aside.Watch the show if you desire. It's probably fun :) Actually, my husband says its one of his favorite things. He says he loves to get me mad. He actually says I'm prettier when I'm mad.  (hahaha)

Now after he has worn out and exhausted all his avenues,  (and trust me...he really tries! he play a mean silent treatment) he realizes there will always be one winner...the Queen Bee. He can get as mad as he wants. He will try his hardest sometimes. I have had moments when I think he is about to win, he is about to win. I can't find one last ounce of fight left in me. And then who come out of their corner with arms a blazing...reaching for a hug?

Thats right...he loves me. So maybe sometime...just SOMETIMES, he actually LET'S me win. ;) 

seasoning recipes...

I am a BIG healthy eating chick. yes i eat a LOT of sweet treats, too. The ingredients in the food I eat are for the MOST part researched by my incredible sister or myself. You are what you eat, right? Well, there are some things I just MISS so terribly that I want but refuse to buy. Like ranch dressing. The powder mix, mostly. And almost every other dressing flavor packets, for  that matter. They are so handy to put onto of meats and such for scrumptious dinners!  But, the amounts of MSG in those make me want to vomit, among other things. Top Ramen. Sloppy Joe mix. Mrs. Dash. These are all friends I can't invite into my house. So I have found my OWN ways of having these delicious flavors without the harmful imngredients! With help from things I have looked up online, I have mixed and mingled my scrumptious spices and seasonings to make delicious meals for my family! Creole seasoning,  mock mrs. dash, taco seasoning, and my newest italian dressing! I don't have to order online from fancy expensive places and have seasonings shipped to me...I can make them on my own :) and they are organic, too!

here are a few of my FAVORITES!

Italian Dressing

1 TBS of each 

Garlic powder, onion powder, white sugar, dried parsley, salt

1 tsp of each
black pepper, dried basil

2 TBS dried oregano
1/4 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp celery salt

mix in a  jar.

in a separate jar mix 1/4 cup white vinegar, 2/3 cup olive oil,
2TBS water and 2 TBS of your mix. shake it, shake shake it. shake it shake shake it. shake it shake shake it. shake it like a polaroid picture.

Taco Seasoning

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper, 1/2 tsp paprika, 1/4 tsp dreid oregano, 1 1/2 tsp cumin, 1 tsp sea salt, 1/4 tsp onion powder. 1 tsp black pepper 1/4 tsp garlic powder and 1 TBS chili powder.  i use this on so many things!! mix it with some sour cream even!

Mock Mrs. Dash

3tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp oregano
1 1/2 tsp savory (you don't have to use this)
1 tsp marjoram
1 1/2 tsp parsley
1 1/2 tsp basil
1/2 tsp thyme

Creole Seasoning
2 1/2 TBS paprika
2 TBS salt
2 TBS garlic powder
1 TBS black pepper
1 TBS onion powder
1 TBS cayenne pepper
1 TBS dried oregano
1 TBS dried thyme

store in a n air tight jar :)

long hair don't care...

Wait. Yes we do.

Listen, long hair is a big deal in my family. Long hair means beauty. It just does. I think other girls are GORGEOUS with shirt hair and sometimes I want my hair that way...but I know what I will think of ME if I do that...and it always comes back to what I was raised with.

I once ONCE cut my hair short...that cute A line cut. Yeah, I saw the disapproving look in my dads face the SECOND he saw me. Let me just say I even called him ahead of time and said I needed him to pretend like he loved it...because it was such a huge thing for me to do. Thankfully he didn't sell me to the circus, and thankfully it grew out.

Well, my daughters all have long hair, as well. Some is longer than others, and some so thicker than others. But it is ALL long.

As much as we LOOOOVE this, there are a few things that come with long hair that we would LOVE to never experience. The first is the after shower brushing. Guys, I could be a millionaire if I got paid for every time i brushed a head of hair. The tangles are enough to make my second daughter want to shave her head every other week. THEY ARE AWEFUL.
Product. We go through enormous amounts of conditioner, shampoo, hairspray, heat protectant etc etc. Time. The amount of time we spend...okay mostly time I spend, braiding curling pinning wrapping (upside down and backward) twisting straightening and smoothing is outrageous. And TOTALLY needed. Because hair that pretty isn't allowed to just BE. It must BE DONE.

But THIS is the very worst part. The clean up. So we shed a certain amount of hairs per day, right? Yes. These hairs usually end up on the back of a shirt that we tenderly pull off or in our car  but mostly on our carpet. And what do we do when our carpets are messy? WE vacuum them. All the dirt and dust and crumbs and hairs get slurped up. And a few weeks will go by and I notice this...

This is our vacuum that has been over taken by the amount of hair in our house! Hair is wrapped around the spinner so much that the brush bristles are barley showing! So, a handy pair of scissors and my daughter who was pretending to be a puppy at that time helped me cut that junk off! I have synths before but THIS time was the most ever. 

Do you think Locks of Love would take this donation ;)

serious amounts of  hair. I won't ruin your day by showing you the mess we pulled from our then clogging shower drains. (ew)

We have taught the girls that when shampooing their hair they came kinda pull the hairs gently out. They WANT to come out and probably already have, they just are waiting to drop. So when we rinse our hair we can grab them, and place them on the side of the shower until we get out and throw them in the garbage. Sometimes it happens. Mostly it doesn't. And the daddy (poor daddy) unclogs the drains for us. 

So um, yeah. We LOVE long hair...but it DEFIANTLY comes with a downside. ;)

dont forget about me...

My Friday thoughts last week were pretty intense. I was sure last week was going to take me prisoner. As I drove away from a morning of complete peace and MUCH needed quiet alone time for myself by myself completely, I wrote down things thoughts and feelings. 

I have so many emotions going through my heart and my mind and my soul I figured this would be the best time to part. When I am good and vulnerable. Where you can see my emotions and feeling raw. 

My soul has been hurting. My soul has been put on a shelf. I have been thoroughly exhausted. I have been taken from.I have given and given and given. It has been a very long week full of emotion that I am ready to pit behind me.I'm grateful for the lessons learned. And I feel like it was a productive week. And necessary to go through. But now that it is finished I am so grateful. I just need some time to breathe. To relax my soul and mind. To be me. Being mom is always number one, but sometimes i forget about myself, and that just is not acceptable. Because if I forget about myself then I really am no good to anyone. 

I'm usually so excited for Fridays because its date night  with my man and we get relaxing time and outings with our children! But this Friday I'm just glad the week is DONE. I don't want to ever relive this week again. I know I had to go through it, but I'm SO glad its finished. I'm so surprised how much emotion this week brought out of me. I am so drained. I know I'm not alone in this. I see moms struggling all around me with things that I don't have to struggle with anymore. And for them I reach out my arms and help where ever I can...even if its just in the cafeteria holding a small baby for another mama. Serving others has always brought joy to my life. My mom taught us that when we are lost in the service of others our life will smooth its self out. Sand she is right. My woes are nothing when I am helping others. And somehow joy ushers itself in. 

It's been awhile, though, since I have found my inner peace. Somehow I forgot to take time for me. I'm a creature or routine. A lover or structure. I love it! I love structure and balance and love to live my life in order. (I think thats the mom in me)  But I love to live my life on a whim as well. And I haven't taken many whims for myself lately. Not for myself. 

 I need to remember that I'm important, too. I need to recognize when my should is crying out for attention like my children family and friends do. When I look at the beautiful surrounding I live in, when I look at the nature all around me I'm surprised that i haven't enjoyed it more...like I used to. On my own. I have had many outings with my husband and children that I have LOVED, but I have forgotten tohow important it is to be alone. It is so healthy. It is so healing. I'm just glad today I TOOK an hour or soft myself to let the emotions out. To let the week go. To move on and become better and to be happy again...from the very bottom of my soul.