Soooooo someone is having a birthday right quick...it's me. Well I'm real sure there are also other people having birthdays soon, as well, but this birthday of mine has really got me singing the blues.
Like leanne Rimes, the blues. Loooong howling notes. Deep depressing tones. Cracked voice and all.
This one is kind of a big one for me. I guess its a birthday that snuck up on me and surprised me with a LOT more lines on my face and a need for more exercise. Yuck.
21 was fine. 25 was great! I loved that year! Well, most of that year. I had been looking forward to 30 for 10 years! I was looking forward to people seeing me as a real life adult! To look at me with my children and think, "oh yes. She DOES look like she's old enough to have children."
But THIS birthday means....well, its means I AM that adult. I am truly truly a grown woman. Like not, "Oh honey I am a woman!" But like, "Sweetheart go ask that woman to move her cart." Ew.
I was once 30. Then I was early 30's. Now I am FULL BLOWN in my 30's. (big eyes here!)
I am in the category my mom is in. (NO offense mom.) (at all)
But like hello. I need a MAMMOGRAM, folks. A MAMMOGRAM!! My MOM gets those! And night cream? Yes. Night cream is a necessity! Oh and don't think I don't see my mother with almost every single movement I make. Its actually not funny at all. (again...no offense mom.)
My daughter and I went shopping for a pair of sunglasses the other day. I want some that were tinted greenish. I asked if I was too old for that. She said no way. Weeeell, the only sunnies that color were in the shape of hearts. HEARTS! How cute. But hey guess what. If I had seen those 6 months ago I would have been extatic! BUT, I didn't. I saw them now. So, I asked again if they were to young for me...she flipped a lid! She thought they were so cute and told me I HAD to buy them! So...I did.
And they are really cute.
And I feel like I'm 24.
I dont like it that much.
But I really like the shades.
I feel like all my silliness and quirky ways have to...grow up :( I feel like maybe will people look at my like a spaz if I'm still riding my beach cruiser around the neighborhood? What about those cute booties I want to buy...am I too old for those? Should I stop skipping with my first grader because I'm too old for that? Do you see what I'm saying?? I want to be ME. I want to have respect and I want to be happy. I want to act my age but I don't want to give up the silly fun freedoms that come with just being ME. Oh the struggle.
My love asked me today, "what do you want to do for your birthday?"
First I thought, ew. You should have a great day planned for me already...hello! its my birthday! ;)
But instead I said sleep. Because maybe if I slept through the day...I could pretend it didn't happen. (I'm so clever and outwitted the birthday!) Then I could stay my current age forever!! Yay!!
No yay.
That won't happen.
No yay.
That won't happen.
Because see the worst part, well the second worst part because the first very worst part about this birthday is the actual day itself, is that I LOVE birthdays!! I LOVE them! Mine usually somehow lasts about a week! Sometimes a lunch day with one pal one day and then a manicure another day with my mama and maybe a friend dinner night and then a date with just my hubby and then a day with my children...somehow its a grande celebration more than one day! :) ( yay for me!) There is ALWAYS a scrumptious angel food cake!! And I usually wear my fave outfit and do my make up real good! One time I had a great surprise roller skating party with my friends and kids! And we have fun gifts (one year I got a new bike!). And i send my mama flowers...because she's a her birthday, too! I love birthdays!!
I used to be so excited to say I am THIS many years old!! I earned those years!!I Learned so many things and built my character so much!
So this year is kinda like a big pooh just fell on my special day. Gross.
Reality is I really don't know what to do. Reality is also hey Teresa, get over it. Its coming wether you want it to or not. Im gunna have the day. It will be here very soon. And there is NO hiding from it. I don't exactly know what I'm going to think once the day gets here...and once it has passed. But its coming. Ready or not.
And I mean, at least its not my 40th yet...right?
No offense.
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